SLAM THE CAROLS

Portland Carol Slam

3:30 pm Sat, Dec 22 | Bull Feeney’s, Portland | Free

Carolers and choirs are content to sing from holiday songbooks of yore. They’re inclined to serenade your front stoop with a lively rendition of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.”

And you just wish those merry gentlemen would give it a rest.

Sure, those carols are classics. But can’t someone come up with something a little more relevant to today’s Christmas climate? Something with words that mean something to modern-day holiday goers?

The Portland Carol Slam can.

The carol slam, modeled after the poetry slam, invites would-be carol composers to write their own holiday songs. Submissions will be performed by the Carol Slam Choir and the audience gets to hear them all and vote for the best. The winning carol-writer will be promptly awarded with a wreath – the holiday season’s best-scented badge of honor.

It’s a chance for the musically inclined to put their minds to Christmas and give the masses a fresh playlist of new holiday tunes. Someone might write the next nation-sweeping carol. Carols do sweep nations.

And thanks to a recent AAA call, I’ve already written mine: “Lug nuts Resting on a Oblate Tire.” It’s not really about Christmas, but it was snowing when the song-inspiring incident occurred.

The Carol Slam takes place at 3:30 pm Sat, Dec 22 at Bull Feeney’s, Portland.

FMI: carolslam.me

• Bull Feeney's 375 Fore Street Portland, ME 04101 Get Directions