The five-day Portland Facial Hair Festival culminated with the seventh-annual Stache Pag, packing the Ocean Gateway with men who love facial hair… and women who love men with facial hair. “It’s about the absurdity,” said Dave Palmer, a mustachioed man from Windham. And absurd it was, with contestants assuming alter-egos with names like Powder Stache (looking a little frozen after too much time on the ski slopes), The Salad Tosser (dressed like a pizzamaker with Italian-flag boxers), and Handsome Hebrew (dressed, well, conservatively). Contestants registered in four categories: Magnum PI (natural mustache with no beard), 1899 Maine Legislature (a styled mustache with no beard), The Castaway (a full beard au natural), or The Thigh Tickler (a “freestyle” anything-goes category). The contestants got creative (and a little risque), the crowd went wild, and judging was performed via decibel measurement. Proceeds went to the 501c3 organization Maine Ultimate.