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Aimsel Ponti

Aimsel Ponti is a Content Producer at and a music writer for and the Portland Press Herald. She has been obsessed with - and inspired by - music since she listened to Monkees records borrowed from the town library when she was six years old. She bought her first Rolling Stones record at a flea market when she was in 7th grade and discovered David Bowie a year later. She's a HUGE fan of the local music scene and covers it along with national musical happenings in her "Face the Music" column and with artist interviews that appear in print in the Portland Press Herald and online at You'll also find her out and about absorbing live music like a sponge and roaming around local record shops and flea markets. Aimsel is also the host of Music from 207 on 98.9 WCLZ and appears monthly on the News Center Maine TV show “207” to talk of course.

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Posted: July 23, 2013

11 royal baby names for William & Kate to avoid: a musical offering

Let me start by saying, to quote “Gone with the Wind:” “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn,” about the Royals or the world’s obsession with William and Kate’s newborn son. I’ve never understood the obsession. But I’m more than happy to poke fun at it.

But just to be clear, I’m happy they have a healthy child and wish them the best like I would anyone.

Now that sonny boy is here, the next thing the world at large is focused on is what to name the child.

I’ve come up with 11 that perhaps should be avoided because they’ve been immortalized in song and aren’t shown in a particularly favorable light.

Shall we? Let’s!

1. JOEY.  “Run Joey Run” by David Geddes. Joey is living a life of trouble with the law, with his girlfriend’s parents and who knows what else. Steer clear of this one.

2 .EARL  “Goodbye Earl,” by The Dixie Chicks. Earl is bad news. ‘Nuff said.

3. JACK “Hit the Road Jack,” by Ray Charles (The Shirley Horn version because I love it). Jack, hit the road and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

4. LEROY. “Leroy Brown,” by Jim Croce. He’s meaner than a junkyard dog. What else is there to know?

5. JEREMY. “Jeremy,” by Pearl Jam. We unleashed a lion. Steer clear.

6.NIGEL. “Making Plans for Nigel,” by XTC. Because Nigel’s future is as good as sealed. How boring.

7. Billie Joe. “Ode to Billie Joe,” by Bobbie Gentry. I LOVE this song, but it makes me sad because Billie Joe got a raw deal for sure and was a misunderstood soul.

8. AMADEUS. “Rock me Amadeus,” by Falco.  You can’t have your son trapped in an 80s song. That just can’t happen. Regardless of language.

9. RAY. “It’s a Shame About Ray,” by The Lemonheads. Poor Ray. What a shame.

10.BILLY. “Billy Don’t Be a Hero,” by Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods. Unhappy face. Don’t get me started about the attrocities of war.

11. MACK. “Mack the Knife,” by Bobby Darin. Two words: serial killer.

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