The impending summer will certainly teach you a few things (like how sunburns are awful and ice cream is awesome). You might even learn that a cup of wine and some cellophane are an easy trick to get rid of fruit flies (local hint: the Semi Sweet from Maine Mead Works will lure those buggers in like nothing else). But if you'd like to take your warm-weather education to a level beyond dairy products and peeling skin, check out our list of lessons and workshops that'll teach you something fun and unforgettable:
Board The Maine Brew Bus, also known as Lenny, for guided tours (and sampling!) of local breweries, distilleries, and fermentories. It's rumored that Lenny used to ferry kids to and from schools in Kennebunkport. In a way he's still in the educational transportation business - except now he conveys scholars of beer, mead, hard cider, and rum.
Lucky for us reluctant runners, there's a litany of upcoming runs zombie invasions, obstacle courses, mud pits, colored powder showers, escaped fugitives, and finish-line beers to keep us focused on anything but the fact that we're actually running.
The spring cleaning is our responsibility. It's a solid "thank you, ma'am" to Mother Nature (who, blizzards and spring snowfalls aside, is pretty darn good to us). Or if you prefer, consider it a down payment on the impending near-perfection that is a Maine summer. On Saturday, dog owners (and the people who love them) will spend the morning picking up what their four-legged sidekicks left behind. It's April Stools Day, and cleanups are taking place at locations around Portland.
Some things are easy to find (used books on the internet, tall people in crowds). But love? That's harder. Love is the Bigfoot of your social life. It's elusive. You might spot it from a distance, but it scares easily and bolts into the woods. Maybe it wasn't love at all. I mean, you took a picture, but it's out of focus and kind of looks like a grown man in a bathrobe.
You can drink a lot of wine and still not get any smarter about it. Trust me, I've tried. But simply swigging down a glass (or - ahem - more than a glass) isn't going to osmotically turn you into a wine expert in the same way eating lots of pork magically won't turn you into a master chef (which I sort of think it should). What you need is a wine education.
As a member of the undead, do you struggle to keep up with today's trends? A zombie makeover will update your look - and you'll be amazed at how a few touches here and there can really turn back the clock. You'll look and feel centuries younger! You might even feel alive!
It's taken a long 160 years for cocktails to become a local craft – something more complex than the apple martini of our twenties. Something created, not poured from a half-frozen bag and tinted a painfully artificial red. Local Noah Love believes the time for craft cocktails is here. The Portland native is the founder of Maine Cocktail Tours, a walking tour of Portland bars that highlights our city’s alcoholic history. And yes, there will be cocktails.
For folks who've never cross-country skied before, it's painful to dish out a load of cash for equipment only to find out two days later you hate the sport, so you curse fate and chuck the skis into the basement where they'll rot for three years until you sell them at a garage sale for $10, which is barely enough money to buy a decent turkey sandwich.