I like beer. I like normal beer. Dark, light, anything in-between is fine by me. But after being scarred for life by a “refreshing! the new ‘thing!” blueberry beer one night at Morganfield’s sometime in the 90′s, let me tell you: Boy do I hate flavored beers, and pumpkin beer is at the top of my list. Yes, it’s become a sign of the season, a tradition for many, and honestly, I’m happy our local breweries sell so much of it. But I’m also happy that the end of the holiday season is approaching because that means pumpkin beer won’t be long for the world.

Like other nostalgic holiday standards like fruitcake and mulled cider, I’m sure someone, somewhere, makes a product that justifies the continuation of the tradition…or its existence at all. Well, Joe Ricchio and his band of merry tasters went looking for the source.

So what does it sound like when a Portland group of accomplished chefs, wine and beer experts and bartenders get together for an hours-long pumpkin beer tasting? Well, you end up with pages of qualified professional analysis of the drink. And as the pages pass, you notice you’re laughing so hard that you start sharing the blog with your friends before you’ve even gotten to the end. Then, if you’re like me, you make it a yearly tradition to read the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd annual results as well.

Nolan, Dietz, Jamie, Chris, Bob, Shahin, Matt, and Joe
Photo courtesy of Food Coma.

Some notable gems:

Jamie: This could honestly be used for torture. The first sip gave me a full-body heave. I think I now have PTSD… It just won’t go away…

Joe: This tastes as if I dug up rotten hot balls that I buried in the ground a year ago, pissed on them, and ate them.

Dietz: Super graham crackery nose. Wow! Not shy on the gross here. Waves of crappy flavors. Resinously not-delicious. Banana and hops meet allspice, clove and jojoba oil.

Jamie: If the other 24 beers we tasted didn’t turn my uterus into scorched Earth, than this one single-handedly rendered me infertile.

Read the entire write up, “PumCaCa Rides Again” on Joe’s blog, Food Coma and then do yourself a favor and read  2009′s (“Don’t Try This At Home”), 2010‘s (“Why Do We Continue To Do This To Ourselves”), and 2011‘s (“Oh, The Horror”) reports as well.