Friday April 18th 2014

Out Going

Go Fourth and Improper: Round Pond 4th of July Parade

By: Shannon Bryan

I’m sorry to say it – and don’t mean to offend any Girl Scout troops, marching bands, beauty queens, aspiring politicians or go cart-driving Shriners – but parades have lost their luster.

It’s not that I don’t still love diving for candy tossed by strangers from passing pickup trucks, but when a grown woman starts knocking children out of the way for a tangerine sucker and a “Brush your teeth” temporary tattoo, the locals tend to disapprove…even though I clearly called “dibs” when the float was approaching.

Apparently only the “under 10″ crowd is allowed to scramble for gum in the road – or to release the contents of a Super Soaker onto other people’s grandparents.

Parade-goers can be so judge-y.

Unless you’re in Round Pond on July 4.

The people of Round Pond have been hosting an Independence Day parade for years – one that started small but now attracts a hearty crowd – that’s low on pageant winners on high on political incorrectness (and a few curse words thrown in for good measure).


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