Sunday April 20th 2014

Out Going

O Come, all ye faithful (specifically those willing to wear faux beards and Santa suits): Santacon Portland

By: Shannon Bryan

‘Twas 21 days before Christmas, and all through the Old Port

Some creatures were stirring – a fat, jolly sort.

The brewpubs and bars had been opened with care,

In the hopes that kind drinkers soon would be there.

A lone Santa appeared on Congress Street,

Headed toward town, with more Santas to meet.

Then a clatter arose in Monument Square,

Twenty or more Santas had congregated there!

Reindeer and elves and an advent calendar, too,

The poor onlookers knew not what to do.

Cars honked from the street and Santas gathered ’round.

And I knew in a moment: Santacon was in town.

But there were no toys to be found, no sleigh to be seen.

Santa without presents? That’s downright mean.

But these Santas aren’t real – not even near it,

But they’ll drink all day to spread holiday spirit.

And off they go down the street! A whole Santa troop!

And look! There’s Rudolph leading the group!

Into Empire they shuffle, still sober and clear,

And hail to the bartender to get their first beers.

“On Guinness! On Geary’s! On Allagash White!

On Prelude! On Pabst! We’re drinking all night!”

From bar to brewpub, they dashed through downtown,

And drew laughs (and confusion) from the people around.

And I heard one explain (’twas the elf with the tights):

Happy Santacon to all, and a debaucherous night!

Translation: Santas from all over Southern Maine will congregate for an evening of good cheer and bar loitering, beginning at 4 p.m. Dec. 3 at Empire Dine & Dance in Portland. The spirited parade will continue through downtown, with pitstops at other local watering holes for refueling and belly jiggling.

Want more info? Check the Santacon event details on Facebook

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